Jesus Christ, King of Poland

This is a fantastic idea, from the BBC website…

A group of Polish members of parliament have submitted a bill seeking to proclaim Jesus Christ king of their overwhelmingly Catholic country.

Forty-six deputies – 10% of the lower house – signed the bill, which was tabled earlier this week, reports say.

Some Polish clerics however have criticised the move as unnecessary.

If the bill becomes law, Jesus will follow the path of the Virgin Mary, who was declared honorary queen of Poland by King John Casimir 350 years ago.

The motion has been backed by MPs from the far right League of Polish families (LPR), the conservative Law and Justice (PiS) party and the Peasants’ Party (PSL).

They argued Jesus should be made king on both theological and historical grounds.

I wonder if I could lobby my TD to get Chewbacca as king of Ireland?

ALSO: FILM TRAILERS FOR FILMS THAT ARE OVER SIX MONTHS AWAY!!!!
Live Free or Die Hard or DIE HARD FUCKING 4 as it should be better known. Note word’s “free”, July 4th release date, GIANT US FLAG and presence of White House, which doesn’t bode well for anyone not in the Republican party.
Also note presence of US military in the new Transformers trailer, which shows us actual clips from the movie. Sadly it’s still directed by Michael Bay and seems to be taking the whole “human’s in peril” angle that many films (SHIT films, I may add) have taken (see: Armadeggon, Godzilla, War of the Worlds). Of course these people will be utterly unlikeable and you won’t care about their fate and by the end of the movie you’ll WANT Megatron to stamp on the little blonde girl. Ah well. It’s still Transformers.

Wookie Watch Episode III : Revenge of the Sloth

Another day, another Star Wars movie. Sky movies in association with the Jumbotron today present the much maligned Episode I : The Phantom Menace. This is probably the poorest of them all, but as it’s Christmas and i’ve got work i should be doing and all, i’ll still give it a whirl. Like the other “prequels” it’s majorly flawed in the script department and the story can get fairly dull at times but it still has some good action bits. I may turn off the sound when ever lil Darth Vader is on screen, as he’s possibly the most annoying character in any movie ever. Ach, that floppy eared Rasta frog is in this also….and the vaguely racist Asian aliens….and the fake English accents everyone has….I may not make it 20 minutes into this.
Damn you Sky, why can’t I get a goo at one of the other ones?

So that’s what i’ll be doing for the rest of the day. You? You can check out these links:

Justin Timberlake has the perfect christmas gift
Smut or not smut? (click on the thumbnails) (Technically not safe for work…but then again technically it is…
Turtle Rape!

Wookie Season

Ahh! The mix of coldness, Christmas cheer, large tellies, broadband, Star Wars and coca-cola have rendered by productivity to none today. Yesterday I got a heap of work done but today I am dangerously close to the christmas vortex and thus have begun shutting down all major thought processes in favour of all day film watching. Sky have decided to show Star War’s films at all times of day and I am retroactively watching all the movies in little chunks in the wrong order, today Return of the Jedi (for the second time this week, both times the last 40 minutes). The other night I tried introducing my nephew and niece to the world of Star Wars with some success, my 3-year old nephew called it “A great power film” and wanted to know who “deaded” Darth Vader. Both of them had trouble understanding that Darth Vader (a “baddie”) had good in him and that’s why Luke saved him. Both were definient that leader of the Rebel Alliance, Admiral Ackbar, was a baddie since his head “looked like a fish”.

That picture, incidentally, doesn’t do justice to the enormity of the Jumbotron telly. I don’t know what’s more impressive on a giant HD flat screen, the Death Star exploding or Noel Edmond’s hair.

Questions and Answers and Wookies

I’m a flicker. I make no bones about it, but unless I’m REALLY into something on television then I like nothing more than to try and watch 6 things at once by rapidly moving from one channel to the next, condensing all into one steady stream of unrelated information. Over the last few years I have developed a slight case of Attention Deficit Disorder and with it a string of unfinished computer games, books, projects, and unwatched TV shows etc. So, as a result I find myself moving quickly from one thing to another moving on as soon as I get a whiff of boredom and this can have the effect of driving whomever I’m watching TV with MENTAL. In my defense however, watching one thing which I have no interest in for more than 30 seconds has the effect of making my brain pulsate with frustration. On my channel-hopping adventures tonight I took in, amongst others documentaries about Hamas, the news (or as it should now be known Nightly Shooting Update), Questions and Answers and the Empire Strikes Back.

Questions and Answer is a show I really can’t watch for too long, but it’s nothing to do with my attention span. It’s the nauseating mix of Irish people and politics that makes me want to stick my foot through the telly. There’s nothing worse than to watch some whiney bollix with a bee in their bonnet about the amount of chalk in schools whine on and on about their gripe only to have the politician who is responsible for this travesty of justice squirm and spin their way out of it, whilst the power-tripping presenter tries desperately to be Ireland’s Jeremy Paxman with their hardnosed (but actually just ham-fisted) questioning style. However in my few fleeting visits to planet Question’s and Answers, (where each time I bailed as soon as they allowed some yahoo in the audience speak, I love my country but most of us should never be allowed air our opinion on a nationally broadcast platform, Joe Duffy take note) I did see someone make an interesting point. As crime continues to spiral out of control and our street’s turn into a level from Grand Theft Auto allot of the debate has centered on pointing the blame at the Gardai, the government and the Godfathers, but no-one has dared suggested that some of the responsibility for all this lies with the people who buy the product which keeps these gangs afloat; namely drugs. And I’m not even taking about the poor old sods who seem to have been (as some people would have us believe) forced into taking drugs because they can’t find a set of goal posts to kick a ball into, but the regular folk from all walks of life who regularly buy recreational drugs. They are directly putting money into the hands of the men who terrorize this country, but seem to have been let off the hook as far as the moral responsibility goes. Now far be it from me to advocate the legalisation of drugs, I think drink is enough thanks, but maybe we should look a bit closer at those among us who are involved in this chain of events from the get-go, but fueling this trade that has lead to such death?

Also in my travels I realised Podge and Rodge have out-stayed their welcome (or have been pushed far to much by RTE), Des Bishop is a very funny man, the scene in Empire Strikes Back where Leia kisses Luke to make Han jealous is deeply disturbing and wondered why it took the powers that be so long to work out that the weather should be read by young women and not actual meteorologists. Ahem. In the end I settled on the Empire Strikes Back (a movie will usually anchor me). *

* Update: Police Academy is also on! Eek. I’m a sucker for these 80’s movies. God I love Christmas time…

This blog veered dangerously close to political commentary. Apologies.

Burn FAI, Burn!

Where has all the blogging gone? Gone far, far, away. Eons have passed and nary a whisper from me, the people grow restless. Well, I have no excuse really; numerous things worthy of mentioning have occurred (well worthy of mention here), but I have seemingly slipped back into a valley of none-thought. So, let me attempt to redress this void of words in a succinct bazooka shot of letters and spaces, followed by a thorough round of dots and commas.

In recent times I have been drunk, the most memorable (as it were) of which was when me and my college comrades invaded a Christmas dinner to plunder their cases of complimentary wine and as such become a drunken mob that earned the scornful looks, “tut-tuts” and general displeasure of our fellow dinner guests some of which I hear were distinguished members of the faculty. After our tornado made its way out of campus we ended up invading another party and stealing their food. For a brief moment in time I was actually inside the movie “Animal House”, sadly we never ended up stealing the college mascot and shooting it to death in the Dean’s office. Hoorah! I am still waiting for my entry into the movie “Back to the Future”.

Arsenal football Club continue to baffle, amaze, infuriate and entertain in equal measure. Still, for all the doom and gloom they sit third in the league without living legend Thierry Henry. They did go to the heart of the evil empire and take a point, sadly they didn’t turf the Emperor into a fiery pit, the cocky bollox. Of course Chelski could only grab a draw by deploying History’s Greatest SHIT, Ashley Cole to foul us before hand.

In far more entertaining footballing news, my other team of choice, Dundalk FC found themselves in a whirlwind of emotion and terrorism. Despite having finished second in the first division, the powers that be in their infinite wisdom and evil decided not to allow us to be promoted to the Premier league, instead allowing lower placed Galway United that honour. Of course they made the team play a meaningless “playoff” against fellow demotee’s Waterford in a cruel and frankly shitty act of dangling a non-existent carrot in our face. The upside to all this was that it made for possibly the greatest news story of all time, when a local Dundalk fan took affirmative action and stormed the FAI headquarters with a can of petrol to air his grievances. Not for me to debate the pro’s and con’s of such action, but it certainly made for a good story and for a brief moment brought our club’s plight to the nation. I mean, if the sight of a man ranting against the most hated organisation in this island after the Orange Order from the window of their premises whilst guards and reporters look on doesn’t amuse you, nothing will I suppose!

Finally, Nas released the most ironically title album of all time with “Hip-hop is Dead”, which for now given this mediocre output from one of it’s brightest son’s is painfully true.

In weather news, the annual Christmas vortex has been spotted on the horizon.