WWJD? BBQ!

That’s a damn Good Friday. I awoke this morning and for the first time this year I had the distinct feeling that not only was it not cold, but it might be warm. With this in mind I recklessly threw on shorts. Thus with the inaugural donning of the shorts I hereby proclaim it both ice-lolly and BBQ season. Note to flip-flop wearers: You’re months early. That said, my bold shorts-wearing will probably upset the universe and as I type dark doom-laden rain clouds are probably racing across the globe towards me to literally rain on my non-literal parade.

Being Good Friday us Catholics aren’t supposed to drink booze or eat meat, but then God confounds the situation by throwing us the first genuine BBQ friendly day of the year. What’s a boy to do? I think Jesus would want us to celebrate this day, why else would he have arranged it so? In fact, I know it. On Christmas Day we’re supposed to eat and drink till we pass out, so why not today also. All this stuff about arbitrarily picking certain foodstuffs that we can’t consume is all man-made; the best way you can worship God is by enjoying what he made. And he made a BBQ DAY! As d-con pointed out in the pub last night, we look funny at those religions that sacrifice goats and whatnot, and we’re no better with this stuff. I don’t know what religion sacrifices goats by the way, maybe the lads from Indiana Jones and the Temple of Doom? To surmise, God wants us to have a BBQ.

Speaking of Jesus, everyone this week was talking about Louis Theroux meeting the nutbox homophobe Christians who believe God caused 9/11 to punish a wicked America. As I say, pure nutboxes. But what’s even scarier is the film Jesus Camp which I saw this week. It’s about the growing influence of the Evangelical movement in America; the religion that made George Bush think it was OK to make up reasons to go invade Iraq and bomb the shit out of it. Scary stuff. What’s funny though is that part of it looks at a leading Evangelical pastor called Ted Haggard. Now Ted used to have weekly meetings with Bush where they probably discussed what country Jesus would approve them to go murder the citizens of. I say used to, because after the film was made Haggard who preached that drugs are bad and gay people are worse, was caught engaging in sex with a male prostitute and buying crystal meth off him. Haha.

Sunshine, I must warn you if you haven’t realized already, plays havoc with my blogging. It is not conducive to coherent thought, leading to a down turn in productivity and a general lack of purpose. I’m sure though I’ve got a good blog in me about how Liverpool are about to become the new Chelsea and we can all unite in hating them for a change. That said, the Yanks are coming after the Gunners. Doubt they’ll get the whole thing though. I hope they don’t, cause as long as Arsenal have no money we can justify our shit-ness. It’s all about money you see.

Speaking of Liverpool, my girlfriend is a Liverpool supporter. Herself is currently off down under, doing what most of our generation do and stealthily avoid reality for a while by hiding in another continent. They justify this by saying they are “seeing the world”. Come home and see an employment agency, wasters. I mention this because the other night I was conversing with her online and she had consumed a little bit of wine. I say wine, but it’s really what im informed is known as Goon, and is a cheap substitute made from eggs, fish and piss and packaged in a box. Kind of like Harp I guess. Anyways, in her drunken state she condemned me for never mentioning her here. So here’s her mention. She’s going to regret saying that to me, and I’m going to regret posting this.

I’m off to take in some sunshine, some Stations of the Cross, some iced-lollys and maybe some beer and meat.