Sigh-pan

I watched the closing section of Ireland’s 20 Most Shocking Sporting Moments! last night. Of course the least shocking thing about it was that the number one most shocking sporting moment was Roy Keane fucking off home from the World Cup. Me being a staunchly anti-Roy Keane person (stemming from the fact I am a staunchly pro-Patrick Vieira person) I of course barked obscenities at the telly whenever someone defended him. But the whole affair did remind me that this feud does put us all in some very uncomfortable positions.

Basically, if you side with Roy Keane it means you are technically siding with Eamon Dunphy. If you side with Mick McCarthy, you are siding with the FAI. So, in the end you have to decide; would you rather be allied with Eamon Dunphy or the FAI? A complete shit or a shower of shits? In the end, you’re still hanging with shit.

Let’s get out of the shit.

These temperature based political analogies get confusing.

What’s happening?

From the BBC Website yesterday:

[insert Irish international manager's name] Out!

I’m getting in on the ground floor on this one, so I can say “Yeah, I was calling for his head before anyone else!”. So, who ever our manager is, and no matter what his results are, I want him sacked. Now.

Let’s face it, in the end, we ALWAYS want them sacked. So why not get it over and done with now.

OUT OUT OUT.

(p.s. If it’s David O’Leary, I want him tarred, feathered, electrocuted then sacked)

I Like Big Bibles and I cannot lie!

…you Christian brothers can’t deny
That when a girl walks in with a KJB
and a book mark in Proverbs you get stoked…

Holy, and I do mean holy shit.

Godtube.com presents “Baby Got Book”. Yes. It’s a religious version of the Sir Mix-A-Lot song. About arses.

The Internet, the toy that just keep’s giving and giving.

I just watched Brokeback Mountain…

…and I couldn’t understand a single word Heath Ledger uttered. Still, I think I got the gist of the storyline.

Its funny though, when that film was stirring up all the controversy’s and whatnot when it came out, allot of people argued about the generic term “gay cowboy film” that was used to describe the movie. Some critics claimed it was a wholly inaccurate description, seeing as though the main characters engaged in relations with both men and women. I agree wholeheartedly, it is simply wrong wrong wrong to call Heath Ledger and Jake Gyllenhaal’s characters “gay cowboys”. They are clearly herding sheep.

Once again we see the all-powerful influence of the pro-Cow lobby in Hollywood, as they seek to further the publicity of the bovine population at the cost of the under represented sheep community. For years now “cowboys” have ruled the silver-screen, becoming a famous cultural icon in their own right. Then along comes a popular, widely discussed movie which features “sheepboys” and what happens? It becomes steamrollered into the ground by the cultural juggernaut that is the cow. “Gay cowboys” become the order of the day.

How long? How long will we tolerate this unfair depiction of our woolly friends?

Why does Ireland HAVE to be good at football?

Alot of people are up in arms bout the national side, you know – Stan’s a disgrace! The team are a disgrace! The football is a disgrace! Its all a big disgrace! Everyones acting like we have some God given right to be striding round the world like a soccer A-Team blasting people out of it. We don’t deserve that. A country doesn’t deserve to be good at anything. We don’t even deserve to be decent, semi-decent or have a team at all. Its nice to have one, don’t get me wrong, and its a great feeling to cheer them on, but you shouldn’t for one second expect anything from them.

Now I know what a reaction to that statement could be; “ah sure that’s typical Irish, keep your head down and expect nothing, don’t make a fuss, no wonder we have hospitals made out of potatoes etc. etc.” But its completely different. We do deserve and should expect a good health care system, that our taxes will be well spent…but why should we have to have good sports people? Why should our nation have to have 11 great footballers? Eamon Dunphy gets on telly in hysterics going on bout how the little big-eared kids deserve heroes etc.etc. Why? What did we do as a people to ensure that we have the stock to produce a good team? Does India deserve an amazing football team? They have one billion people, why arn’t they whinging bout not having a team of 11 Ronaldinhos? Or did they do something heinous and now they don’t deserve one?

Its exactly this mentality that has destroyed the English national side. They have this paralyzing culture of damning their team to hell before a ball has been kicked in a tournament by expecting so much of them. The second the team wobble ever so slightly then, all the fat heads boo them and turn round on their pub stools. Its  so refreshing to see teams like Japan or Korea do well, their fans are like the Ireland fans of old, out there having fun, cheering their team on without expectation.

Now, what we DO deserve is a Football Association that is competent and will make good decisions. They are paid to make sure that what ever chance we have, its maximized. That clearly is not happening.  We do expect them to pick a manager who has even an ounce of experience. That we should expect.

I wish we could go back to the old days.  Before Eamon Dunphy was born, y’know.

My fucking laptop won’t let me put new fucking songs on my fucking mp3 player

I’m fucking sick to fucking death of these fucking songs. FUCK.

Life is tough sometimes.

Sony Rabbit Ad Rip-Off?

Props to Tall Alex who alerted me to this. You know that eye-poppingly amazing Sony Bravia ad doing the rounds with the plasticine bunnies jumping around a city? Well, its pretty darn good, but is seemingly very, very similar to some art work done by a couple going by the name of kozyndan. Like this for example.

Adwatch has the full story, which details more nefarious activities. Make up your own mind, I suppose. Sadly, the wikipedia page for Sony Bravia also claims that the bouncy-balls-down-a-hil-ad (you know the one with Jose Gonzales on it) has a similar controversy about its originality. C’mon guys.
Er. That’s it.

Cadbury’s Gorilla Remixed!

This is for Twenty Major, who wasn’t too enamored with the Phil Collins-ness of the original. Some plucky internet scamps have done the old mash-up thingy to it. Brilliant, some would even say an improvement. Well if you think that Bonnie Tyler, 50 Cent or the Eastender’s theme is better than old Phil than you will. Not me of course. Anyways, there’s loads on YouTube.

And…..the best so far…

Single men, your prayers have been answered..

All you need to do is purchase this exemplary piece of attire and the women will be all over you.

I mean, just read these testimony’s:

nukegoat says…
Its painful how sexy I look in this.

brownrice says…
if god wore a shirt, this would be the one

Tomash says…
My power has increased 100 fold with the addition of this shirt to my already vast aresenal of wolf shirts.

eh win says…
Excellent roaming shirt out in the dessert. Gets you great reception for your cell phone as well.

Hold up, I’m not copying and pasting any more of these amazing words. Click the link and read some for yourself. Ok, One more…

Shapedoctor says…
I like this wolf shirt because wolves and shirts are shapes.