Via the magic of mailing list I have been informed that Dundalk superstar Jinx Lennon and Miss Paula Flynn will be appearing on ”Imeall Geal” tonight on BBC 2 , Thursday the 28th of Febuary at 10 pm! Set your faces to watch and your earholes to listen.
And here’s one of my all time favourite Jinx songs, “Forgive the Cunts”
It’s been too long my friends. In this clip Gary lays the verbal smackdown to an 11-year old child interviewer at the UN Children’s Foundation Oscar afterparty. Gary doesn’t care if you are 11 or 111 and he certainly doesn’t care if you are with the UN’s Children’s Foundation, you will speak to him with clarity and grace for his mind is like a lazer beam ready to dissect the world at large. He also has some choice words for Paris Hilton. Preach, brother Busey!
Stop that shit. Seriously. I can’t think of anything as annoying and, for me at least, it completely degrades your brand / message. Ok, I accept advertising online. I understand its more or less essential to the business model of the web, and allows us to enjoy so many ‘free’ services so I can tolerate it. But what I refuse to tolerate is when these ads take over your browser either by repeatedly making (really fucking annoying) sound effects come out of my speakers or by spreading out like a secondary cancer across the article I’m trying to read and forcing me to look for an often near-impossible to find “close” button.
The two I mention in the title are recent offenders. Both are currently appearing on social networking sites MySpace and Bebo and are the epitimy of all that is wrong with advertising. The Allianz Insurance one (I shit you negative) sounds off an ALARM sound. Now as anyone who has sat up half the night listening to the eternal wail of a house alarm going off it is possibly the most annoying sound ever created. So in their infinite wisdom Allianz (or their advertising client) has decided this would be the best possible sound to associate with their product. The incessant drone of an alarm. Do these people lack even the basic understanding of product association and what not? Now, I know what they are trying to do, which is to get your attention. Many seasoned web users have developed highly tuned filters for completely ignoring web advertising, allowing your to get to the information you want as quickly as possible. So to combat this they’ve had to employ horribly intrusive methods like this.
The HSE are the other offenders I’ve noticed. In their current campaign highlighting the dangers of cocaine they’ve included regular “balloon popping” sounds. That’s right, balloon popping. You know what guys, when I’m browsing the web I’m usually either listening to music, or I am listening to other people or want silence. One things for sure, I don’t want to have to go find the “sound off” option on your ad. And I definitely don’t want to listen to regular balloons exploding. I have a whole army of nieces and nephews that can supply those sound effects.
Its bad enough that our lives have become dominated by branding and advertising, but this is a step too far. Cut it out!
Last week, the US military shot out of the sky a satellite that had veered off course and was hurtling towards earth taking with it a big fuel tank of toxic goo. Well, thats what they said. Was it a cover up? Was it a spy satellite filled with spying stuff that would cause trouble if it fell into the Red’s hands? Was it a test for their anti-satellite technology? Did they worry that the downed satellite and its toxic substances would cause a worldwide zombie outbreak bringing with it a George A. Romero apocalypse? Who cares, blowing up stuff is awesome.
Like a real life Death Star.
What I want to know is why a civilization that has the awesome power to blow the fuck out of satellites can’t film the thing in High Definition.
You know what never happens? Waiting for a bus for ages then two come along at once. That never happens. Yet people say it all the time, but it doesn’t. It doesn’t happen. Next time someone says that to you call them an idiot for saying such a stupid thing. You should teach them a lesson, like hitting a dog on the nose when it’s been bold. Oh, you do that, do you? You asshole.
Get out of my blog.
You know, it’s kind of a sad fact of life that people all over the world are nervously watching America to see what decision they’ll make this year. As we’ve seen over the past decade the man at the White House and his decisions have had devastating and far reaching implications for the whole globe. We look then, with hope, that the next President will restore our faith in that fine country. I like America, sometimes I just don’t like the guys running the show. This year offers a new beginning, a ray of light. There is one candidate who rises above all as a beacon of hope. A person we can believe in. A person who can change the world. That is why Off The Meatrack is officially endorsing Ralph Wiggum to be the next Commander-in-Chief. We Dig The Wig.
God damn it! This is the super official real Indiana Jones trailer, but again WordPress is thwarting me from embedding it. A million curses on you! A MILLION!
The 21st Century’s greatest love story over? Football365.com details Eamonn Dunphy’s comments on Roy Keane, live on Patrick Kenny’s Wireless show.
“I know Roy well and the one thing he hated when I knew him and when we were working on that book was the bull-s**t that was a part of manager-speak and part of player-speak.
“But now he holds these lengthy press conferences every week in which he anoints David O’Leary to be the next Ireland manager, anoints Terry Venables to be the next Ireland manager.
“He talks about how wonderful it is for the Premier League to play games abroad and he’s just become rent-a-quote. It’s quite extraordinary.
“This is a sharp, smart, outstanding human being and he’s just been sucked into that awful Premier League vacuousness. It’s sad to see Roy Keane bull-s**tting. But there you go. It happens.”
F365 go on to shrewdly comment (like only they can) that:
Presumably Dunphy would prefer Keane to continue with the sort of views expressed in his book, including his infamous account of the knee high assault on Alf-Inge Haaland:
‘I’d waited long enough. I f**king hit him hard. The ball was there (I think). Take that you c**t. And don’t ever stand over me sneering about fake injuries.’
Its funny, just as I beginning to think that Keane has become a less hateful character, Eamonn then turns on him. Which kind of confirms my opinion of Dunphy in a bizarre way. What a complete flange. He may have a kernel of a point though, most people sucked into the English game succumb to that new language of nonsense speak, where you talk alot but say nothing (Jamie Redknapp being the new star of this scene, regulars include the BBC punditry team, David O’Leary, Richard Keys). Still its not really fair on Keane, there’s only a handful of people worth listening to in football these days.
Finally, lest we forget, THAT rant:
Without doubt the biggest achievement of 2007 on a personal level was my successful growing and maintaining of a beard. This momentous occasion eclipsed both my graduation from college and subsequent employment in what is my dream job. This was the fulfillment of a life long dream, to become a member of the beard-owning class, and I am proud to say that since September I am indeed a “bearded man”. In past years I have tried and failed on at least three occasions to grow a beard, each time succumbing to the forces of itchyness, impatience or social norms. I was aided in this attempt by an extended period of extreme business coming up to the end of college which prevented me from attending to any kind of grooming activities, which meant the foundations of the beard were forced upon me. With my proto-beard in place I began to get favourable reactions to my face-carpet giving me that much needed final push through the third-week itchyness and into full bearded glory. Since then the response to my hairy appendage has been overwhelmingly positive. So here, dear readers, is Off The Meatrack’s Top 5 beard-growing tips.
1. First and foremost is the prospective beard-owners mantra- “Do Not Shave For 4 Weeks”. This means nothing, no trimming, cutting, or shaving for one whole month. Even if this means you must look like some kind of crazed hillbilly, you must stick to it. After 4 weeks you will know what kind of man you really are.
2. If your wife/girlfriend complains/moans/threatens-to-leave-you over said beard you must dump her immediately. She clearly does not want a real man in her life and would prefer some kind of girly-boy with no balls. If you are gay and your boyfriend complains/moans/threatens-to-leave-you over your beard than they are not gay. Get rid of them.
3. Try and arrange to go on holiday during the third week. This will be the toughest week. Of your whole life. You will be haunted in the night by dreams of people holding lighters to your neck, and you will awake to excruciating sensations of burning. You will sleep a total for 3 hours. Work will be disrupted by your constant scratching. You will be irritable and cranky as you try and claw your neck open. But when you emerge you will be like a hairy butterfly breaking free of a cocoon.
4. Go out for walks around the streets and note the demeanor of bearded men. They walk with such supreme confidence, like they know they are the true inheritants of the earth. They stride out of PC World excited at the possibility of installing the new RAM they bought; they confidently stroll around Connelly Station shouting at vending machines; they exude the powerful presence of men who might be (and probably are) terrorists. That can be you.
5. Remember this: you will save over ten thousand euros a year on shaving paraphernalia. That is enough to set up your own Air Fix military model shop.
Bonus handy-hint. Print out and keep this picture. In times of doubt, pull it out of your wallet. Any worries will soon fade away. Good luck, future man.
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