Lisbonics

Only one day in and I’m already sick to death of the Lisbon treaty campaigning. I can’t take much more. What gets me are the posters. The fucking infinite amount of posters. One of the No ones informs me that people died for my freedom, before telling me not to “throw it all away”. Freedom? What freedom? A man is not free when he can not walk the streets without being assaulted by an endless forest of Yes! and No! orders being barked from ghastly placards. We are subject to the tyranny of poorly design ill informed opinion.

Fine Gael in their infinite wisdom have put the semi-dead smiling visage of Gerry Anderson’s Enda Kenny on theirs, seemingly confident that his bad-guy-from-Thunderbirds face will scare us into voting yes. Almost works too.

There’s also a No-crowd called Veritas. At first I thought they were something to do with Robery Kilroy Silk and I was going to construct a homemade flamethrower to decimate their giant billboards. Quite frankly I’m not sure if there is a connection to Kilroy (who started a big moany party in England called Veritas) but he’s also anti-EU so no marks to them. Kilroy is a tool.

The No’s mainly try and scare you via some kind of vague connection with war, or by making you feel like you are a rebel hero, and can use your ballet to fire a missile down the vent shaft of the Death Star. One No poster features monkeys. That is a cynical trick if you ask me, everyone loves monkeys. The Yes’s mainly try and appeal to the greedy capitalistic heart that beats inside all Irish people.

I’ve had enough though. I’m going to trawl the Lisbon treaty and try and find anything that will allow Brussels to ban election placards. If it’s there, I will vote Yes, change my name to Hans and have done with the whole thing. Sovereignty is over-rated anyway, its quite patently obvious we cannot run our own country. It all boils down to this anyway, would you rather a man from Frankfurt or Offally run the show? Think about it.