Off The Meatrack Hot Stock Tip Of The Day

As economic turmoil continues to envelope the globe, we here at OTM are always on the look out for any chance to make a quick euro amidst the chaos. As such we employ a round the clock team of analysts to monitor the worlds news, media and business outputs with an eye to catching the trend on which we will surf our way out of the sewer that is Ireland in the year of our lord, two thousand and eight. Today we’d like to share one of these hot tips with you in the hope that you, our humble reader can also avail of our upward mobility. Think of it as our way of giving back for your years of support.

So, today’s Off The Meatrack Hot Stock Tip of the Day is : KNIVES. That’s right. If you have turned on Sky News in the past couple of months you will know that children being stabbed is THE big thing at the moment in our esteemed neighbour, the United Kingdom. So, OTM says this: as everyday commodities such as bread and iPods become increasingly hard to purchase due to hyperinflation you can bank on the paranoid, unloved youth of Britain to hold firm in their resolve to wield sharpened implements for killing. Thus, drop all existing stock you have and plow all your funds into knives. As chaos continues to seep into all walks of life you can bet your bottom dollar that knife sales are just going to grow and grow. Don’t worry about the increased threat to your life as a result, your new found wealth will allow you the rare opportunity to move to more “affluent” (read: security monitored) surroundings. The only draw back may be that the wheel of karma will see fit to punish you for monetary gain off weapons dealing by having you return in your next life as some kind of slug. God’s speed.