They’ve been building this all day. Is it going to be set aflame by rampaging hordes of hairy-armed women liberationists? Is someone going to be violated by it? Or will fireworks shoot from its throbing member? (I hope its this one). I’m scared.
Archive for October, 2008
The Humour Crunch
October 30, 2008In the midst of an economic and environmental global meltdown, I would argue we need more than ever to hold on to our most important virtues; reason and humour. However in the wake of the Russell Brand / Jonathan Ross radio hoo-ha, the good people of Britain, at least, seem to have chucked both those out the window. Over 30,000 people, including the Prime Minister, have complained about the prank they pulled, which while admittedly tasteless and ill-conceived, does not warrant anything near this kind of furor. They left inappropriate messages on actor Andrew Sachs’s answerphone. The show was not live, and it was vetted both by Sachs and the producers before going to air. A fine? OK. A caution? definitely. Apologies from the duo, for sure. But 30,000 people calling for their heads? Gordon Brown should be busier stopping his country sliding down the shitter, not worrying about radio shows.
I guess its our nature though. Sky News doesn’t drop all actual news stories and reel out the giant red NEWS ALERT banner of doom when entertainers make us laugh. Think about it. Brand and Ross do their thing week after week and we are entertained. Millions wouldn’t tune in if they didn’t. But one moment of idiocy amongst hours of otherwise fine entertainment causes everyone to shit their pants. Again, it was stupid what they did, but they’ve been turned into a scapegoat for a much wider debate about general standards in broadcasting. It wasn’t fair what they did, but neither is it fair to whip up a mob after them.
Only two people actually complained following the broadcast, but after it was latched onto by the Mail on Sunday then people suddenly decided they were offended. What does that say about the public? That they need the watchful eye of the Mail on Sunday to tell them when and at what they should be offended? Brand fired back at the Mail, asking what was worse “leaving a swearword on Andrew Sachs’s answerphone or tacitly supporting Adolf Hitler when he took charge of the Third Reich”, referring to the Mails support of facism in the 1930s. Good point.
Now Russell Brand has quit the BBC and offered a full apology and Ross could well be thrown out after him. They’ve apologized, Andrew Sachs has accepted their apology and wants to take no further action, yet this will still be whizzing about in the public domain for sometime. I suppose its ok though, there’s nowt else happening of importance in the world at the mo. For me, the best summation of the case has been by Peter Tatchell in the Guardian. Go reads that shit.
One of the main arguments doing the rounds about this is that the Great British public via the license fee pay for this offensive twoddle and its a scandal and a disgrace. By the same token then, my Sky subscription pays for the far greater offense that is Jamie Redknapp idiotically relaying the stock 5 “Punditry-For-Dummies” quotes he reads of the giant boards held up behind the camera every time he graces us with his presence during Premier League football games. Brand and Ross could phone up my mum and scream endless profanities to her for four hours and I wouldn’t be as offended as when I have to listen to the inane gibberish that falls out of Redknapp’s head. Can I start a campaign to have him hounded from his job? Ok, ok, I know what you are feverishly planning to say to me “But you don’t have to pay for Sky!”. Yes, but I have to pay for an Rte license fee…and what does that get me? Podge and Rodge? Kathleen Lynch’s Wonderwomen? How Low Can fucking You Go? I’m fairly certain this contravenes the Human Right’s act.
Disclosure: I am a fan of Russell Brand. I will miss his radio show.
Disclosure 2: I do not pay a Sky Sports subscription.
Disclosure 3: I do not pay an RTE license fee. My girlfriend does. But you get my point. I hope.
Ironically for a post entitled “The Humour Crunch” I have nothing funny to add to this. Partly due to the fact that my head currently resembles the art museum from Ghostbusters 2 and is slowly filling to the brim with illuminous slime. So, I must spend my day violently expelling this vivid green ectoplasm from my face through my nose and periodically checking the contents of the tissue. I bid you good day.
Links What I Like
October 23, 2008It’s been a while since I fobbed you off with some links.
Joey Burton – I Want To Be Role Model. Yes, Joseph, I want to be a Professional Footballer, but life doesn’t always work out like you want.
Superman meets the Dark Knight
Mark Wahlberg talks to the guy who pretended to be Mark Wahlberg talking to animals
Let’s All Laugh At Spurs. Remember all you cunts telling me they’d replace Arsenal in the top four?
Girl’s Costume Warehouse:
Keith Olbermann is a legend. Wish we had an Irish version. Sadly all we have is serial whinger who-sounds-like-a-deflating-bag-pipes Vincent Browne. Here’s Olbermann attacks the whole “pro-American” guff.
Off The Meatrack presents the first ever ‘National We Want Free Shit Day’
October 23, 2008
Dr. Eustace Cumbersome, chapter president of The Off The Meatrack Revolutionary Committee remarked "Free At Last! Free At Last! Our shit will be free at last!"
It is with great pride that Off The Meatrack announces its intention to organise the State’s first ‘National We Want Free Shit Day’, which will feature a mass march on Leinster House where we will demand the government continue to give us free shit.
After a passionate speech by some short-breathed, rosy-cheeked Student’s Union type, the crowd will turn towards St. Stephen’s Green Shopping Centre where it will continue its call for an end to paying money for goods and services by demanding the liberation of all Nintendo Wii’s currently under the occupation of the capitalist junta that operate within. It will hopefully be the first mass evacuation of hostage consumer goods since the bold rescue of 7 pairs of Nike Air Max from the O’Connell Street branch of Footlocker during the uprising of 2006.
Dr. Eustace Cumbersome, regional liason for the Off The Meatrack North-Eastern command unit, remarked “The message is clear, we will not stand for this archaic and frankly evil system of exchanging money in return for services rendered. This government is out of touch, the Irish people will not continue to put up with this economic tyranny” before grabbing a load of deodorant from Tescoes and legging it.
Off The Meatrack hopes we can count on the Holy Trinity of free shit enthusiasts; Socialists, Farmers and Students to come out in force and help us send a clear and resounding message to the Dail – we ain’t payin’ for shit yo.
Ode to a fat red-haired child in a Diadora tracksuit at Oriel Park
October 17, 2008Oh, fat red-haired child in a Diadora tracksuit at Oriel Park
Clutching a can of Coke as red as your hair.
Your face, redder still.
Know not you the turmoil which rages in places you will never visit that blow like winds around the Stand.
Dundalk win 2-1.
Top of the league.
I hope, fat red-haired child in a Diadora tracksuit at Oriel Park that life brings you what you desire.
Be happy. Be free.
Dundalk win 2-1.
Top of the league.
Sky News is gay for the FTSE 100.
October 9, 2008Sky News’ obsession with the fate of the FTSE 100 index knows no bounds. At all times, no matter what, you can see this number barely changing minute by minute on screen. They would interrupt a live interview with Jesus from the surface of Mars to let you know it had dropped one thousandth of a thingy. I’d say they’re not far off representing the fate of the markets with a big computer generated cock that lies limp and flaccid when the markets are down, but turns into a big raging hard-on that spunks money all over Gordon Brown’s face when it goes back up. Not that it ever will go back up however, as we are staring into the abyss you see.
No-one knows what this metaphorical abyss is, or what it actually means, but experts the world over are confident that an abyss does exist. God bless them I guess, since the Large Haldron Collider decidedly failed to suck us up the arse of an abyss in Switzerland they’ve had to come up with a new doomsday scenario. Tell you one thing though, if as that eminent man of Letters George W. Bush says “this sucker does go down” because of some wanky Gordon Gekko types I will pack a Luas full of explosives and drive it V From Vendetta style right into the IFSC and take as many be-suited fuckwits with me as I can.
You win this time, Internet!
October 7, 2008Argh, again AGAIN, I cannot embed a thingy majiggy. And I have a college education, ABOUT THE INTERNET. I think my master’s might even mention the internet on it, but its in Latin, so I’m not sure. But I’m not blaming myself, i’m blaming WordPress. So, WordPress, consider yourself blamed.
Anyways, I wanted show this super great comedy clip, which i’m swiping off Una Rocks. Sometimes you see these things and you just have to put them on the internet AGAIN.
The times they are a…well staying the same as they were it seems.
October 3, 200844 years ago, Bob Dylan sang The Time’s They Are A Changin’, in which he said:
Come senators, congressmen
Please heed the call
Don’t stand in the doorway
Don’t block up the hall
For he that gets hurt
Will be he who has stalled
Kind of apt today, isn’t it?
