Folks, quick question. I think I may have just invented something, but it might already exist, so I need your help.

Did I just invent hoodies that have a hat build into the hood? Like a cap/hood combo? Did I just invent that?

If so, I’m gonna be rich. I could sell them to cunts in Urban Outfitters and H&M. Rich I tell you. Rich.

Please don’t steal my idea.

Go Irelad!

(via Harry Allen)

This is the 481st post on this blog.

The 500th post will be the last post ever published on “Off The Meatrack”. Consider yourself duly notified. This should give you plenty of time to begin making arrangements to start reading other blogs, receive professional counseling or perform mass ritualistic suicide.

(Note: At my current rate of posting, the last ever post will be published some time in late 2017)

It’s telling that the best program by a country mile short-listed for the entertainment.ie Best Irish TV Show is a show made up of clips from the news from years ago when everything was actually shitter than it is now. As good as it is an all, I suspect however, that the appeal of a show like Reeling in the Years is to help convince ourselves that we’ve survived being shit-poor before and lived to tell the tale, with better haircuts and jumpers.

The only other good show RTE has ever made, ever, is Bachelor’s Walk. And you know why that’s not available on DVD? Its because they don’t want to remind anyone that they once made a good show, lest we demand it again.

Two good shows in decades of churning them out is a pretty poor ratio. So, statistically we are likely to never see a good program ever made by our State broadcaster ever again. With this in mind, coupled with the other statistic that the only time I watch RTE for more than 10 minutes EVER is when Father Ted is on, I propose that all license fee money is immediately pulled from funding TV shows and the channel resorts to showing nothing but Father Ted. 24 hours a day, 7 days a week. All Ted, all the time.

The money saved could then be used to roll out broadband to the whole country, so we can watch telly made by the Yanks. Or clips of people slipping on their arse

It’s times like these I wish guns were legal here. Just so I could buy a shotgun and shoot the telly Elvis-style when Kathleen Lynch appears on it.

Jinx Lennon comments on Le Handball.

IT’S PROBABLY A GOOD ASSESSMENT OF THE SOUL OF THE COUNTRY WHEN PEOPLE ARE MORE INCLINED TO GET MAD ABOUT A FOOTBALL MATCH THAN THE STATE OF THE NATION .I JUST GOT A PETITION SENT TO ME FOR FIFA COMPLAINING AGAINST THE HANDBALL INCIDENT IN THE RECENT GAME AGAINST FRANCE.i D’ONT SEE THE SAME ENERGY GOING INTO A PETITION COMPLAINING ABOUT THE STATE OF THE HEALTH SERVICE OR THE AUDACITY OF THE GOLDEN BOYS OF THE BANKING SECTOR ETC ETC .I CAN JUST SEE THE GOVERNMENT SMILING WATCHING THE PLEBS GETTING PERTURBED ABOUT A SILLY FUCKING GAME AND WHILE THE INHABITANTS GET HYPNOTISED BY THE GREEN JERSEY THE ENEMA OF THE UPCOMING BUDGET D DAY OF 9/12/2009 WILL SLIP IN A LOT EASIER .FUCK FOOTBALL!

Well said. And after Arsenal did their usual late-November up-north away-day cock-up, I will also say “Fuck Football!”.

Jinx should be happy to hear, that despite the Facebook group calling for a replay having over 300,000 members, only 200 showed up to bother the French embassy. Still, that’s 200 too many, but what are you going to do?

Bonus Jinx (from the song “Protein for the festivals” by The Radio featuring Jinx Lennon, streaming on his MySpace page)

The Paris Hilton international sisterhood walk around the tea hut or sat in their golf carts ….1979-style James Bond in China-syndrome aviator shades made them look like lobotomized wasps.

Genius.

Honestly, in all my years, I don’t think I have ever heard of anything more retarded than protesting at an embassy because the soccer team of that embassy’s nation cheated to score a goal. It’s so retarded that I’m not going to waste any more time talking about it.

I could write four-hundred pages on this fiasco, but really, whats the point? Long-story-short, we have an awful amount of idiots in this country. Facebook hate groups? You twats.

Here’s a video of a man whose beard is so immense it is its own cage.

Usually I try to avoid listening to the radio. Its not that I don’t like the format, I quite like podcasts and the like, the problem is generally to do with the music and the usual type of people who chatter inanely on Irish radio.

The music problem is obvious. In the past year or so I have gone from being a reasonably modern and hip person to a grumpy bastard who hates all new music. I always thought this would never happen to me, and when my older brothers and sisters would warn me that one day, I too would I become bitter and twisted and spit venom at any music made in the last decade, I would scoff at them. Never me! But, sadly, music didn’t feel like complying. Instead of being good, music has become shit. Its all, and I happily throw this generalization out there, ALL, stupid blips and blops and bad synths and robot-voiced cunts and stupid lyrics and Cheryl Cole. When I walk into the canteen at work and they are playing MTV constantly I feel like i’ve been transported 50 years into the future and I am a senile old man, struggling to comprehend the future. That’s when I piss myself and am taken away.

Then, of course in between the music, is the chat. Oh, that chat. The inane, banal chat that makes you want to pluck the aerial of the radio and jam it in your eye.

Anyway, because of all that I generally don’t go out of my way to listen to the radio. However, I got a text today from a friend telling me it was “font day” on Today FM. So, being a complete and utter nerd who is interested, yes, interested in fonts I tuned in. I was preparing myself to stomach 4, maybe 5 minutes of it before smashing my face into the stereo to end it all. How pleased was I then, that instead of being assualted by the “if the Nazi’s had won dystopian hellhole future” sounds of Dizzy Gaga, it was only bloody well They Might Be Giants and “BIrdhouse in your soul”. If ever there was a song to lift you above the gloom that is a rainy grey morning, this is it. So kudos to you Ian Dempsey.

He also then played the Dublin Gospel Choir, whose new album is out today and you should buy.

Hooray for everyone!

And, seeing as though its font day, I’m going to track down the person in my company who sent a memo using Comic Sans to everyone in the office and have “I AM A TWAT” tatoo’ed on their head in Helvetica Neue Medium.

SO, enjoy Font Day.

It has just occurred to me that Off The Meatrack has been on the go in some form or another since 2003. 6 years. What a rollarcoaster, from its humble beginnings as a bizarre flat-file writing PHP based CMS with a lively messageboard section (O.G. Off The Meatrack messageboard heads give yourself a round of applause) to this, the rarely updated, barely edited sham of a blog it is now.

Here’s to another 6. Although quite frankly i’d be surprised if I am still alive in 2015. Well, I won’t be surprised, because if given the unlikely event that I am cognate post-death my passing should cease to be a surprise once I have achieved ghost form. Unless I die exactly on this day in 6 years, then I will exhibit said surprisement.